i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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