Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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