was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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