Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize