There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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