I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
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As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
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Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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