we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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