please come you make the beer taste better
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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