I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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