Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
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I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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