Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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