Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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