Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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