and you said cock pushups were impossible
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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