When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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