Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize