Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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