just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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