their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
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Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
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I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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