I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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