She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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