why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize