So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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