North Korea, Best Korea!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize