sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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