angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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