I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
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she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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