I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
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