Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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