i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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