By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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