return my video game
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize