3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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