you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize