I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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