I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
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i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
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Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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