okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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