I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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