i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
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it glows. i had to have it.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
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You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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