Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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