It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize