i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize