Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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