brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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