i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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