the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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