"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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