There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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