my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize