The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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